It has been a very long time since I posted on my blog. As most of you know my Mother passed away on March 27, 2009. It has been the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. I have not even felt like writing on my blog, but now that two months have passed, I thought that I better catch up.
Words cannot express the love that I have for her or the pain of losing her. To have her as my Mother and my best friend is one of the greatest blessings the Lord has given me. I know why the Lord took her from us, she was a very special spirit, full of love and charity. Truly, she was one of the most loving and loyal of Mothers. Because of her valiant spirit, she really must of been needed on the other side. How happy the reunion with her parents must have been. She was blessed to only have been without her Mother (my Grandmother) for 1 year. My Mother had sacrificed so much (especially her health) to take care of her parents since 2002. But she was happy to have them in her home. It shows what kind of person my Mother was. She loved her parents deeply and by serving them, I truly believe that it sanctified her. I know because of her much love and service that the Lord will reward her. I can imagine how happy her parents were to come and get her. They grew even closer as she took care of them in their last years. My Grandmother was worried about my Mother's health. The day she broke her ankle and was in the emergency room(a week before she died) she expressed to me how worried she was about my Mother. They became especially close after Granddaddy died. It comforts me to know that she is with them surrounded by their love.
My life will never be the same without her. Part of my heart has gone with her. I have relied on my Savior for comfort and peace, and in moments of deep sorrow and despair, I have felt His love and comfort so strongly. I am thankful for my testimony and the knowledge that I can be with her again if I live worthy.
My girls have taken this very hard, especially Karrie. They were so close to my Mother. It breaks my heart to see and hear them crying for her. But they both know that this is a temporary separation.
Cherish your loved ones. Tell them daily that you love them, for you do not know when their time on earth is up. My Mother and I had talked almost every day (except one) the week leading up to her death. How thankful I am that in my last conversation with her (the day before she died) that I told her that I loved her (and she told me that she loved me).
Mother, I love you so much! Oh, how I miss you! I will continue to live my life, but I will always be yearning to talk to you, to see you and to be with you again. I look forward to the day that I can hug and kiss you and tell you how much I love you!
Some scriptures and quotes that have brought me comfort:
"Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for them that die......"
- D&C 42:45
"The separation imposed by the departure of a loved one evokes pangs of sorrow and shock among those left behind. The hurt is real....Even though we understand the doctrine-even though we dearly love God and his eternal plan-mourning remains. It is not only normal; it is a healthy reaction. Mourning is one of the purest expressions of deep love....The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take the love out of life."
-Elder Russell M. Nelson
"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." -Psalm 116:15
"A mortal life may need to be 'shortened' by twenty years as we might view it, but if so, it may be done in order for special services that will be rendered by that individual in the spirit world, services that will benefit thousands of new neighbors with whom that individual will live in all of eternity.....Our omniloving and omniscient Father will release us when it is best for us to be released. But each such release of a righteous person is also a call to new labors!"
-Elder Neal A. Maxwell
"All of us have to deal with death at one time or another, but to have in one's heart a solid conviction concerning the reality of eternal life is to bring a sense of peace in an hour of tragedy and loss that can come from no other source under the heavens." -President Gordon B. Hinckley
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." -John 14:27